What are you looking at?
You’ve never seen a pigeon? Or a dove?
In fact, I bet you don’t know the difference.
Well, don’t worry. Neither do I. I mean, who cares?
A pigeon or a dove? A duck or a seagull? An owl or an eagle?
I mean, It’s all the same. A bird’s a bird no matter what’s its name.
Pigeon Lee was still so young
But he felt so old
He was in the South Seas
But the waves were cold
He was tired, he was sad
And he was alone
There was nothing inside him
His heart turned to stone
There was nothing in this world
Nothing to live for
There was nothing to admire
Nothing to adore
There was not a single reason
For him to live on
There was nothing in his chest
His heart turned to stone
The pirates were right.
Lee’s heart had turned to stone.
He was still alive.
But the flame of his heart wasn’t burning.
He decided to kill himself.
Because his heart had already died.
But he would do it later.
When the sky became black like the darkness in his heart.
Everything was dark and quiet. Just like Lee’s heart.
That’s all there is, thought Lee. The silence.
And it’s the same when the Sun is high.
Pigeons and people are cooing, but they don’t disturb the silence.
No one says anything. No one hears anything.
There is no real communication. No real contact. No real touch.
People and pigeons are kissing, but their lips stay frozen.
There is no real understanding. No real friendship. No real love.
There is nothing in this world. There is nothing in his heart.
His heart is dead. He should die too.
He’ll end his empty life. Right here. Right now.
He’ll jump in the waves and he won’t spread his wings.
He’ll resist the ancient instinct and he won’t fly.
There is no reason for flying. Only reasons for falling.
Lee put his wings tight to his body. He bent his legs in order to jump.
But then he heard something and his legs straightened up.
His wings were spread against his will.
And he flew towards the source of the sound.
A beautiful woman was singing.
Lee didn’t understand the words, but he understood the song.
Because she was singing from the heart.
He could feel her heart burning.
Her voice carried those flames and they lightened the night.
And then they attacked the stone in his chest.
He burst into tears and his sight got dim.
When he got himself together he was alone.
The lady had disappeared.
But Lee could still feel her echo.
He could still feel the fire of her heart.
His heart was burning too. It was alive again.
He didn’t want to die anymore. He wanted to live.
He wanted to fly and burn like the Sun.
Because he wouldn’t be the only one.
Originally published in Just Friends in 2013.
Translated into Chinese by Li Chengcheng.